Buendia
by Walkazo
Summary: A summary of the last quarter of "One Hundred Years of Solitude", by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The catch? The entire script's in rhyme and was made to be performed by only five people.


**Disclaimer****: **_**100 Years of Solitude**_**, its plot and its characters belong to Gabriel García Márquez, not me. **_**The Sounds of Music**_** (which I reference in my stage directions once) is not mine either, nore are any lyrics I use and/or spoof in this script. On the flip side, most of the dialogue **_**was **_**written by me (with some lines provided by my friends or taken from the book).**

**Author's Note****: We read **_**100 Years of Solitude**_** in my Grade 12 English class, and separate groups of students had to present one fifth of the section to the class. Instead of doing boring character analyses and whatnot, my job was to write a dramatic presentation/plot summary for us to act out for the class. Since we were going last, I wanted to make sure our presentation wouldn't get overshadowed by the earlier ones, so to give it that extra umph, I wrote it as an epic poem. It took me freakin' long to write, and I decided to post my hard work here (the dialogue is original, so I feel it's "fanfiction" worthy). I know we're technically not supposed to write in script-format, but I am NOT converting this to prose – I don't have the time, and it wouldn't work anyway.**

**Rated T for character death, coarse language, violence and sexuality.**

I sometimes explain (via. stage directions) what the characters are doing, but if I don't, just picture them acting out what the Narrator is saying (which is what the actors were supposed to do – but often didn't – in our presentation). Some parts are not just spoken but _sung_; I have indicated these with italics (some single words are merely italicized elsewhere for emphasis), though I'm afraid I cannot expand on the melody. Other parts were spoken unusually in our presentation to make the amount of beats in the sentence work, and I'm afraid many of these phrases will sound awkward when you read them. All I can say to that is: _c'est la vie_.

On a final (and mostly trivial) note, in the presentation, five of us played over 50 minor, major and background characters (over 30 of which had some sort of speaking role), so things such as the Aureliano's 4 Friends were played by a single person (in this case, holding four dolls). The Narrator was combined with the Invisible Doctors, Melquíades (and the "Elves") for a similar reason, though this also has metaphoric implications: Melquíades _is_ the narrator, in a way; and the Doctors and Elves have to do with similar aspects of Magic Realism. Other than this personal interpretation of mine, the rest of the script is pretty much airlifted directly from the book.

Now, I'll shut up, and you can get on with your reading…

_One Hundred Years of Solitude_ – Part 5

Dramatic Presentation Script – "_Buendía_"

(Narrator / Invisible Doctors / Melquíades / Elves enters off to the side)

Narrator: Unlike _Beowulf_, this poem's not in Old English,  
Though to be fair, the book was originally in Spanish.  
It's about the town of Macondo where it rained for oh so long,  
Many months after starting and it's still going strong…

(Fernanda enters and speaks to the open air)

Fernanda: Invisible Doctors! Talk to me!  
The trains are jumping the tracks, you see,  
'Cause of all this rain my letters can't get through…

Narrator: So _that's_ why we haven't heard from you!

Fernanda: It is!

Narrator: Big deal!

Fernanda: No! You must know how I feel:  
My daughter and the savage are playing savage games,  
But at least my wayward husband is here to ease my pains.

(Aureliano Segundo enters)

Aureliano: I need some oil! I need it right now.

Fernanda: But it's dirty and sticky – Why do you need it anyhow?

Aureliano: There's a squeak!  
You neat-freak!  
Now give me the can.  
I'll fix as many things 'round here as I possibly can.

Fernanda: In this house we'll rot!

(Aureliano Segundo and Fernanda exit. Santa Sofía de la Piedad (Sofía) enters)

Sofía (to no one): It's all we got…  
My daughter-in-law thinks I'm just the maid,  
For in the corners is where I've stayed.  
But I don't mind – it's all the same.  
I care for the helpless – I need no fame.

(Amaranta Úrsula (Am) and Aureliano (Aur) enter with Úrsula; Sofía exits)

Am & Aur: _Úrsula is very old! Very old! Very old!_

Am: _She is dead – her body's cold!_

Aur: _Soon she will be caked in mold!_

Úrsula: No I won't, I'm still alive!  
_And as long as I know how to love, you know I will survive!_  
I may be blind, I may be frail-

Am & Aur: Let's poke her eyes out with this nail!

Úrsula: No stop!

(Aureliano Segundo enters)

Aureliano: He's dead!

Others: Who?

Aureliano: Colonel Gerineldo Márquez! His cortege is passing through!

(Am & Aur exit; Úrsula comes forward)

Úrsula: Good-bye Gerineldo, my son.  
Say hello to my people – each and every one!  
Tell them I'll see them when it stops raining.

(Úrsula exits)

Aureliano: Look at the roads – the sucking mud.  
These cursed rains! It's a flood!  
Oh why didn't I pay Petra's warnings more heed!  
I thought there was no need,  
I thought the rains would pass before too long,  
But it seems that I was wrong…  
I'll throw this cloth over my head,

(Aureliano Segundo goes to Petra Cotes)

Aureliano (cont'd): And find the animals are _dead_?

Petra: All dead! Except for this lone mule:

(Mule enters)

Mule: Ey-aw!

(Mule exits)

Petra: I fed him the silk – the tassels were his gruel.  
I told you! I warned you! I beseeched you to return!

Aureliano: I'm here now! And know my guilt does burn.  
I left my love here to drown,  
Because I didn't want to get wet running around,  
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! My love…

(Aureliano Segundo gets friendly with Petra Cotes)

Aureliano (cont'd): We'll start again,  
When the rains end.  
From this night we'll rise above!

(Petra Cotes pulls away)

Petra: But time is not on our side.  
Our reckless ways cannot abide.  
This desperate time is no time for fun…

Aureliano: The rains will pass!

Petra (leaving): The end's begun!

(Petra Cotes exits)

Narrator: Aureliano returned to the Buendía household  
In three month's time with his bags.

(Am & Aur enter, sit with Aureliano Segundo who gets out his accordion)

Narrator (cont'd): He played for his kids, the accordion, and all of the songs of old.  
And though he didn't speak English he read to them from the encyclopedia(w)  
And made up stories for the pictures, while the kids listened in awe.

(Fernanda enters, speaks to the open air)

Fernanda: Invisible doctors! The food's running short! Oh what should I do?

Narrator: Why ask us? Foolish Fernanda – we don't do your thinking for you.

(Fernanda sighs and walks over to Aureliano Segundo)

Fernanda: _Aureliano! Aureliano! We're running out of food!  
Aureliano! Aureliano! Oh what will you do?_

Aureliano: Wait until the rain stops?

Fernanda: No!  
_Aureliano! Aureliano! What else can I say?  
Aureliano! Aureliano! The rain won't go away!  
I was raised to be a queen,  
But now I'm stuck with a has-been.  
Head of a mad house with an ocean for a sky!  
Busting my kidneys to make ends meet,  
And the maid-in-law who drags her feet,  
And my husband teaching the bastard how to read!_

(Aureliano Segundo sends Am & Aur away)

Fernanda (cont'd): _Aureliano! Aureliano! Why'd you take me from my home?  
Aureliano! Aureliano! It was everything I had known!  
I was happy weaving funeral wreaths,  
For other work was beneath  
My noble, highland, Christian lineage!  
And then you sit, and then you mock!  
Don't you know my heart's not rock?  
I put up with the abuse for God but the words do sting._

Aureliano: Can I have some eggs?

Fernanda: No!  
_Aureliano! Aureliano! Why won't you listen to me?  
Aureliano! Aureliano! Oh how near-sighted can you be?  
You stupid man why can't you see?  
All our food is history!  
We're eating stones and yet you demand gourmet!  
Of starvation we will surely die!  
And here you watch the rain go by,  
As if you can't be bothered to give a damn!  
Aureliano! Aureliano! Why don't you care? Aureliano? Aureliano? Aureliano!_

Aureliano: Please, shut up.

Fernanda: NO!

(Aureliano Segundo sighs, stands up, and starts smashing things)

Fernanda: Aureliano! Aureliano? Stop! Please stop! Aureliano? Aureliano!

(Aureliano Segundo leaves, Fernanda hyperventilates; Aureliano Segundo returns with a sack of food, shows it to Fernanda)

Narrator: And they would never go hungry again.

(Aureliano Segundo and Fernanda exit. Am & Aur enter with Úrsula)

Am & Aur (laughing like Hyenas): Ey he he he!

Narrator: Meanwhile, the children were having a smashing time,  
Even after three years of rain they were still doing fine:  
Tormenting Úrsula day and night,  
The poor old woman put up no fight –  
She had sunken too deep into her dementia.

Úrsula (to no one): Oh! There you are! My beloved Great-Grandmama!  
Aren't you sad my grandson, Arcadio, just died? Ah!  
And father! I _tried_ not to fall for my cousin!

Am: She talks to her deceased kin!

Aur: Oh how much we do learn from this din!

Am: Tea-parties from within,  
Úrsula's poor, decrepit mind…

(Aureliano Segundo enters)

Aureliano: Where is the gold that I wish to find?  
Where'd you bury it?

Úrsula: I will not tell!

Aureliano: Where is it?

Úrsula: I hid it well!  
Its rightful owners will return when the rain ends.

Aureliano: You're driving me around the bend!

Úrsula: I don't care.

Aureliano: Then despair!  
I'll dig up the whole yard and find those sacks of gold!

(Am & Aur crowd around Úrsula like vultures)

Am & Aur: She's so old…

(Am & Aur leave with Úrsula. Aureliano Segundo pokes around with a shovel)

Narrator: Aureliano Segundo went on his merry quest.  
If he had been a grave-digger he would have been the best.  
He dug up the yard far and wide  
For that gold it would provide.

(Aureliano Segundo walks up to Pilar Ternera)

Narrator (cont'd): He even asked Pilar Ternera for advice,  
But it wasn't very nice.

Pilar: Without Úrsula I cannot tell where exactly it is.  
But I _can_ tell you this:  
They're buried within a radius  
Of 200 metres from her bed.

Narrator: That's all she said.

(Aureliano Segundo leaves Pilar, goes back to mucking about)

Narrator (cont'd): And Aureliano went back to his work,  
In mounds of mud he always lurked.  
He was still searching when the rain the rain stopped,  
In the second week of June,  
One Friday afternoon,  
At exactly 2 o'clock,  
And a decade-long drought began as the last raindrop did drop.

(Aureliano Segundo runs over to Petra Cotes)

Aureliano: Petra! Petra! I told you there would be an end to this accursed rain!

Petra: Yes, now see what's left of our fortune and fame:

(Mule enters)

Mule: Ey-aw!

(Aureliano Segundo, Mule and Petra Cotes exit. Úrsula enters)

Úrsula: _I can't see clearly now the rain is gone,  
I'm still blind but there's no obstacles in my way.  
What those children did to me was wrong,  
But now I'm lucid enough to seize the day!_

Narrator: So Úrsula began the war against the bugs,  
From the termites in the wall to the moths eating the rugs.  
She'd gas the cockroaches and kill the ants,  
And cleaned the rooms and watered the plants.

(Úrsula bothers José Arcadio Segundo)

Narrator (cont'd): She even got José Arcadio Segundo to do his part.  
She unlocked his door though he would not start,  
Leaving Melquíades' room for fear of that train-

José Arcadio: -Leaving the station at dusk – the memory! The pain!  
Three thousand corpses thrown into the sea!  
Leave me be!

Úrsula: Fine, but only use one chamberpot from now on!  
And keep it clean! Now, carry on!

(José Arcadio Segundo exits)

Narrator (cont'd): But Úrsula's sanity did not keep and she soon returned  
Into the shadows of senility, where she tossed and turned.  
Her death was forecasted by the sky:  
Orange disks did fly by,

(Sofía enters, looks at sky, tends to Úrsula, smells flowers and exits)

Narrator (cont'd): And the roses smelled like goosefoot.  
Úrsula had shrunken to the size of a fetus  
By the Good Friday when she's finally kaput.

(Úrsula lies down; Two Mourners attend, fanning themselves)

Narrator (cont'd): Not many people came to the funeral because Macondo had forgot  
Úrsula after all those years – and it was also too damn hot!

((Úrsula leaves); Mourners continue to fan)

Narrator (cont'd): The birds would break through the windows  
To die on peoples' beds  
And Father Antonio Isabel's theory for it all  
Made folks think he was touched in the head.

(Father Antonio Isabel (FAI) springs forward)

FAI: It's the Wandering Jew!  
It's true! It's true!  
Me must kill it! Yes, that's what we must do!

Mourner #1: He's nuts.

Mourner #2: Coo-coo.

(A Woman enters in distress)

Woman: I found footprints – it's the Wandering Jew!

FAI: You see! You see! I told you!  
We must stop the Wandering Jew!

(All leave)

Narrator: And they did.  
They killed the beast and burnt its corpse.  
But the drought did not come to an end.  
And the birds did not return and then, and then, and _then_…

(Aureliano Segundo enters, measures walls, but grows frustrated. Then, Emissaries enter, show Aureliano a medal, but when they hold out a speech, he shakes his head and they leave)

Narrator (cont'd): Rebecca died in her grand house which Aureliano could not resell.  
And emissaries tried to give Colonel Aureliano Buendía a shiny new medal;  
None of his relatives would take it for their dead, anarchist kinsman,  
And Aureliano couldn't take it to sell because of the speeches they had penned.  
And it drove him 'round the bend!

(Aureliano Segundo throws his hands up and exits. Two Gypsies come and entertain two People for a little, then they all exit)

Narrator (cont'd): And around that bend came the last gypsies of Melquíades' tribe,  
And their magnets and false teeth entertainment did provide  
The stunned and saddened town –  
The train barely even came around.  
Then one day authorities came to investigate all the dying birds.

(Authorities enter, Father Antonio Isabel jumps up to them)

FAI: It's the Wandering Jew!

(Authorities look at each other, then take Father Antonio Isabel away)

Narrator: Needless to say, they didn't take the Father for his word.  
They took him to an asylum  
Far, far, far away.  
And the hopeless town-

(Fernanda rushes in and speaks to the air)

Fernanda: Invisible Doctors!?

Narrator: What _now_?

Fernanda: It's time for my telepathic surgery!

Narrator: Fine!

(Lights are turned off, turned on again; Fernanda examines her abdomen)

Fernanda: Wow, that's some scar! It's sorta scary…

Narrator: Well, we searched near and we searched far,  
But we found nothing that matched your symptoms.  
There _was_ a drop in your uterus, though that doesn't match your… "descriptions".  
Fix it using pessaries. And don't bother us again!

Fernanda: …What's a pessary?  
… Invisible Doctors? Hello!  
Pessaries? - I must know!  
Hello!?

(Fernanda runs around, finds and pockets a pill bottle. Aureliano Segundo, Am and Aur enter)

Narrator: José Arcadio sent Fernanda pessaries from Rome,  
And then it was time for Amaranta Úrsula to leave her home,  
To go to school in Brussels – and it had cost her granddad quite a lot,  
He spent almost every sent that his failing raffles had got.

(Aureliano Segundo, Aur and Fernanda wave goodbye to Am, who exits)

Aureliano: Goodbye Amaranta!

Fernanda: Mind the rules!

Aur: Why can't I go to school too?

Fernanda: Don't be stupid: you're a bastard, they would never accept you!  
Even if I _wanted_ you to go! Filthy savage!  
Useless Baggage!

(Fernanda and Aur exit. Petra Cotes enters)

Aureliano: I have a lump in my throat, it's hard to breathe, I fear.

Petra: Do you think it's Fernanda? Trying to get you back from here?  
Our animals aren't as fertile,  
But we love each other all the more.  
You may be a bit senile,  
But please don't walk out of my door!

Aureliano: I'll investigate this, so never fear.  
I'll ask Pilar Ternera – have no worries, my dear!

(Petra Cotes exit; Aureliano Segundo talks to Pilar Ternera and then fusses about)

Narrator: Pilar made Aureliano bury a live chicken, but it was no use.  
He burned Fernanda's pessaries, but the only thing cooked was his goose.  
He had throat cancer, and on August ninth it took his life.  
José Arcadio Segundo died at the exact same, as if stabbed by a knife.

((Aureliano Segundo exits); Fernanda enters and puts a hand on each of two boxes)

Fernanda: Their coffins are identical, I hope they don't get mixed-up.

Narrator: They do.

(Fernanda looks around, then Petra Cotes runs in)

Petra: Wait! Wait! Please, I have Aureliano's shoes;  
He wanted to be buried in them –

Fernanda: Get away from my husband!  
This funeral has no place for garbage like you!

Petra: Stuck-up bitch!

Fernanda: Useless whore!

(Fernanda leaves with the boxes; Petra Cotes starts packing a food basket)

Narrator: Petra Cotes sent Fernanda anonymous baskets of food  
Until her death, because she thought it'd ease her fiery mood.  
But Fernanda was like the child Petra and Aureliano never had,  
And soon Petra was feeding her for love – not 'cause she was mad.

(Petra Cotes sighs and leaves with the basket; Aur enters)

Narrator (cont'd): Meanwhile the task of deciphering Melquíades' text  
Fell on Aureliano, who was quite adept  
At reading, writing and learning – as José Arcadio had found;  
He had taught the boy all he had known and the savage came around.

Aur (to Narrator): Melquíades! Do you have new information for me?

Narrator: Yes, in fact: you need a book to learn Sanskrit, you see?  
It's in the Wise Catalonian's bookstore, hidden on a shelf.

Aur: I'll ask Santa Sofía de la Piedad to get it for me – for I cannot leave myself.

(Sofía enters, gives Aur a book)

Sofía: Oh woe is me! This house is too much for me to bear.  
Oh all I see, is ruin and disrepair.  
I'm going to leave, and live with cousins in Riohacha.  
Aureliano, thank you for the gold fishes – I love ya!  
They will support me as I have supported you.  
I hope you will soon be free too,  
From the prison Fernanda has around you.  
_Goodbye…_

(Sofía leaves, waving to Aur (like in _The Sound of Music_); Aur also exits)

Narrator: And she did leave with a sigh. Aureliano said-

(Fernanda runs in)

Fernanda: Invisible Doctors! You've returned!

Narrator: _No_, we haven't! Haven't you learned?

Fernanda: But you're misplacing all my items; I have to tie them down with string.  
It's making it such a bother do every little thing!  
I thought it was the bastard but all he does is cook and read.  
If it's not you it must be elves! Curse their fiendish creed!

Narrator: Ooookkaayy… Good luck with that!

(Fernanda leaves)

Narrator (cont'd, aside): Crazy, aging, stuck-up, prudish, highland bat!

(Aur enters)

Aur: Melquíades! It's been 3 years, but I have translated one whole page of your text!  
Oh, what's next?

Narrator: You need to get some more primers from the Wise Catalonian's store.

Aur: That means getting permission from Fernanda – oh what a daunting chore!

Narrator: Maybe not, Fernanda's heart is thawing with age.  
Can't you hear that weeping has replaced her fits of rage?  
Just cut your hair and be polite – take on a pleasing shape.

Aur: Oh, if only my entire future was not at stake!

(Fernanda enters blearily, dressed as a queen; Aur offers her a cup of coffee)

Aur (cont'd): Fernanda, I have cooked your meals since Sofía went away,  
And now I have to ask you a favour here today.  
I need to retrieve parchments from a bookstore not far away;  
Won't you let me get them? Please, what do you say?

(Fernanda laughs; Aur exits; Fernanda gags and lies down)

Narrator: But Aureliano didn't have to wait for long, for Fernanda soon died.  
And four months later her son, José Arcadio, arrived.

(José Arcadio (JA) enters)

Narrator (cont'd): He read her unsent letters – a diary by any other name.  
He then learned who Aureliano was, and treated him the same.

(Aur enters)

JA: Go to your room.

(Aur exits)

JA (cont'd): Oh mother, I forgive your lies for I have done the same:  
I left the church when I got to Rome; I wouldn't play their games.

(JA leaves Fernanda (who exits); 4 Boys enter)

Narrator: He filled the house with children,  
Including 4 who served as his maids.  
They wore short-shorts though they were young men,  
And all together, bathed.

4 Boys: _Who wear short-shorts?  
We wear short-shorts!_

JA (to no one): But the one that I want, the only thing on my mind  
Is my lecherous, long-dead aunt, Amaranta, who I'd find  
In the baths at Rome just like in the baths here.  
Ah that childhood molestation which instills me with desire in place of fear…

Narrator: Then on one asthmatic night, he and one boy saw a marvelous sight,  
As if the sun was shining from under Úrsula's bed.  
They pulled up the floorboards and found the sacks of gold!  
And Aureliano restored the house to its glorious times of old.  
But the boys made a mess of it;  
And before he took out his whip,  
José Arcadio soon did find,  
He was utterly alone, with only Amaranta's ghost on his mid.

JA: Ah! You dogs! Go away!  
Get out of here and there you'll stay!

(JA chases the 4 Boys out with a whip, but then collapses; Aur then enters)

JA (cont'd): My asthma's shortening my days! Help!  
Go, bring me my medicine!

Aur: I will.

(Aur exits)

JA: I am doomed! I won't see him again!  
I did him wrong –  
Locking him away so long!  
_**I**_'d flee.

(Aur enters)

Aur: I'm back!

(Aur gives JA a bottle; JA stands up)

JA: I can't say I'm not surprised.  
When you returned I honestly could not believe my eyes!  
I hereby lift the restrictions my mother put on you.  
You can leave whenever you like, and use the bathroom too!  
With this gold I am planning to return to Rome.  
I'll set you up with a job, so you won't starve in this ancient home!

(Aureliano Amador (one of the 17 sons of Colonel Aureliano Buendía) enters)

Amador: Hello! Hello? I am Aureliano Amador, I am your long-lost kin!  
I've been hunted for so very long, oh please let me in!

JA: Do you know this tramp?

Aur: I don't remember him.

(JA and Aur push Aureliano Amador away; Two Policemen come and shoot Amador)

Narrator: So they threw him out and then witnessed the shot  
That put a violent end to the 17th Aureliano's lot.

(Police, Aur (and Aureliano Amador) exit. JA lies down;the 4 Boys enter and strangle JA)

Narrator (cont'd): Similarly, Aureliano didn't hear when the 4 boys returned, so bold,  
And drowned José Arcadio in his bath and made-off with his gold.

(The 4 Boys exit with gold; Aur enters, finds JA and is sad (JA exits))

Narrator (cont'd): But once again, Aureliano wasn't alone for very long,  
As Amaranta Úrsula returned in 5 month's time, when December dawned.

(Am enters leading Gaston by a leash)

Am: Oh, Aureliano, my savage! Oh how much you've grown!  
I've returned with my husband, Gaston, to make this home my own!  
I'll clear the clutter and kill the bugs – like Úrsula once did!  
This town will come alive again, of dreariness it will be rid!  
I'll stay here for all my days!

Gaston (to Aur): No she won't, it's just a phase.

(Gaston and Aur exit, Am runs around)

Narrator: Amaranta released birds to try and repopulate Macondo's skies,  
But though they all flew far away, Amaranta did not sigh.  
She was so full of energy she filled the house with light.  
And her evening romps with Gaston made for noisy nights.

(Gaston reenters and leaves with Am. Aur enters and runs up to Nigromanta)

Aur: Nigromanta! Nigromanta! I have something to confess,  
I have the hots for Amaranta Úrsula, oh what a horrid mess!  
I know we haven't slept together, but my friend, you're a whore!  
I don't think I can stand our chaste arrangement anymore!

Nigromanta: Then close the door.

(Aur and Nigromanta exit)

Narrator: It turns out Aureliano was quite the lover-boy,  
But Nigromanta wasn't his only decoy  
From Amaranta Úrsula, who made Aureliano go outside,  
And the Wise Catalonian's bookstore became his only place to hide.

(Am pushes Aur on stage; he walks over to the Wise Catalonian (Catalonian) and 4 Friends)

Catalonian: Aureliano! I am happy to see you walking through that door.  
These young boys are arguing – your assistance I implore,  
With your knowledge of the whole wide world,  
That is far greater than that in all the books;  
They want to know about killing roaches  
Throughout all the countless ages.  
Oh! Won't you take a look?

Narrator: And he did.  
The four boys and Aureliano soon became fast-friends.  
But his favorite Gabriel, was the only one who believed that  
In the banana company massacre 3000 people met their ends.  
He was also the great-great-grandson of Colonel Gerineldo Márquez.  
Gabriel Márquez… Where have we heard _that_ name before, my friends?

(Aur, Catalonian and the 4 Friends leave. Gaston enters with a butterfly net)

Gaston (to no one): Oh! Ho ho ho ho ho!  
While Amaranta wastes her time,  
I am doing just fine!  
Catching butterflies for my old prof at U of Liège,  
Though I'm not an entomologist by trade  
But I'm starting to be afraid  
That I'll be stuck here with my wife for quite a long time…

(Am enters with a magazine, shows it to Gaston)

Am: Isn't this dress divine?  
I already designed it 3 months before this magazine arrived:  
I guess I can see fashion's future in my mind's inner eye.

Gaston: You lucky girl!

Am: You lucky guy!

(Aur walks in, sees them grinning at each other, runs to a brothel; Am and Gaston exit. Old Woman, Whores and the 4 Friends enter)

Old Woman: Come and sleep with my imaginary girls.  
They go to be for hunger in my imaginary world.  
Come along! It's alright!  
I promise you, they don't bite –  
Unless you ask them to!

(The Old Woman leers at Aur and the Whores)

Old Woman (cont'd): Ah! What a view!

Aur: No! Go away!

Old Woman: No, I think I'll stay.

(Aur leaves the Whores; they, the Old Woman and the 4 Friends exit)

Aur (to no one): Melquíades is gone, his magical protection spent.  
It's now a race against time for me to decipher his parchments.

(Am enters)

Am: It looks like a lot of work,  
I hope you don't mind if I take a look?

Aur: No, not at all! You're not a pain!  
Come over here! Let me explain:  
The future's written in the past if you know how to look,  
It's like the double-sided pages of an ancient book.  
Hold the paper to the light – the other side's writing will shine though!

Am: The ants! I'm sorry, but there's something I must do.

(Am and Aur exit. Gaston enters)

Narrator: Amaranta visited Aureliano on many occasions,  
For her husband was no longer content with being on vacation.  
He wrote to his friends in Brussels, setting up a flight  
Of a little plane to Macondo, so that Gaston might  
Set up a trade-route, but the plane, it never came.  
So Gaston would write his letters and watch and wait and think, "Oh what a pain!"

(Gaston exits. Am and Aur enter)

Narrator (cont'd): Meanwhile, Aureliano was trying to be less of a sociophobe  
To get closer to Amaranta, until he could no longer cope.

Aur: Amaranta Úrsula! I- I love you! I want you! – Far more than Gaston!  
I love you! I need you! And I have for very long!

Am: Fool! I'm leaving on the next ship to Belgium!

(Am leaves)

Aur: Oh! What have I done?

(4 Friends enter)

Friends: Aureliano! Aureliano! Come see what we have found!  
A zoological brothel, that is real from the roof down to the ground.  
It's called "The Golden Child" and the women are divine!  
It's run by Pilar Ternera, who in her rocking-chair reclines.

(4 Friends and Aur walk up to Pilar Ternera and some Whores; the 4 Friends exits with the Whores)

Pilar: Lord, Lord! Aureliano! It's as if the Colonel has returned.  
I'll tell you all about the past, of war, and lovers spurned.

(Aur weeps at Pilar Ternera's feet)

Pilar (cont'd): Don't worry, my child. Wherever she is, she's waiting for you.  
You are a Buendía, so I know this to be true.

Aur: Oh! Thank you!

(Aur leaves Pilar Ternera. Am enters and is approached by Aur; Gaston is writing off to the side, oblivious)

Narrator: And drunken he stumbled to Amaranta after her shower;  
He followed her to her room, while Gaston wrote a letter.

Am: Go away.

Narrator: -She said.  
But Aureliano shook his head,  
And deposited the startled girl on her marital bed.  
They wrestled in silence until Amaranta started to giggle,  
And her avoidance-maneuvers became a lascivious wiggle.  
Then she dropped her guard for an instant – that was a mistake.  
She had to gag herself so Gaston wouldn't hear the orgasmic howls she would make.

(Aur and Am roll away together, Gaston wanders away)

Narrator (cont'd): Moving on…

(Catalonian enters with the 4 Friends and Aur)

Catalonian: I'm so gone!  
_I miss my home in the Mediterranean,  
So I'm going to sell the store that I'm living in.  
Come on boys! Help me set out today._

Friends: He just threw half of his money away!

Catalonian: Everything moves from where I put it.  
Confounded elves! I think I'm gonna throw a fit!

Narrator: Hee hee hee!

(Catalonian leaves Aur and the 4 Friends)

Catalonian: Oh, why me?  
I'm home again, but now I miss  
Macondo, oh why is there no bliss  
In the world? You kids better leave too.  
Shit on the books, forget everything I told you!  
Begone!

(Catalonain and Aur exit; the 4 Friends leave one-by-one, until only one (Gabriel) is left)

Narrator: Álvaro was the first to take the advice;  
He got on a train that never stopped – it was quite nice.  
Alfonso and Germán left one Sunday,  
And were never seen again (though they said they'd be back Monday).

(Aur reenters to be with Gabriel. They visit Nigromanta; then Gabriel exits with Mercedes, and Am joins Aur once Nigromanta exits)

Narrator (cont'd): A year after the Wise Catalonian left Macondo,  
Gabriel was the only friend left for Aureliano.  
They shared Nigromanta's charity, though they both had girlfriends:  
Aureliano and Amaranta Úrsula had an ongoing, secret tryst;  
And Gabriel was dating Mercedes, the silent pharmacist.  
Then Gabriel won a contest,  
And promptly left for Paris,  
And Gaston left for Brussels to find his wayward aircraft.

(Gabriel and then Gaston enter and are waved off as they then exit by Aur and Am, who start running around together once they're alone)

Narrator (cont'd): So Aureliano and Amaranta no longer feared his wrath  
And slept together all about their sacrilegious home.  
On the tables, in the yard – breaking everything they owned.  
Deliriously happy in their sexual escapades,  
While all else in Macondo rotted into a dusty haze.  
They were a little worried that they were relatives  
But Aureliano couldn't find his birth certificate.  
So they settled for the story that he floated in on the river.

Aur: The only thing we know for sure is that Fernanda ain't my mother.  
But perhaps we're half siblings, with the same father.  
I've heard a lot said about his concubine – Petra Cotes, it might be her.

Am: Don't worry about that, we have a bigger problem here,  
Gaston found his plane in Africa and he's returning now, I fear.

Aur: We'll write him first and come clean about our relationship.

(Gaston enters to the side, with the letter)

Gaston: In that case, I wish you well in all comradeship  
Be careful though – hot love is fleeting, and I hope yours does survive.  
Now please send me my velocipede, the mailing address I'll provide.

(Gaston exits; Am stands up, revealing a large belly)

Am: How dare he act so cordial! He should be furious!  
He just wanted an excuse to dump me – that's why he's not mad at us!

Aur: Say no more, let us be glad that this came to pass:  
Now we have no obstacles against our love, my beloved little lass.  
My letters to Gabriel are being returned less often now,  
He's living on the streets, I think; how he survives, I don't know how.  
And we may be out of money, and your fish-spine necklaces don't sell.  
Mercedes may have bought twelve, but no one else-

Am: It's just as well.  
Now our world is us alone – us and no on else.  
Until our child's born, but love will still be all that's felt.  
The ants may still be coming, and the ghosts whisper in the walls,  
But as long as this house is filled with love I know it will not fall!

(Pilar Ternera enters with her Whores and dies in her chair; the Whores are sad and then exit. Am prepares to open a letter, but Aur takes it away, shaking his head; Am then keels over in labour.)

Narrator: Then Pilar Ternera died and her whores did despair.  
She was buried still-a-rocking in her wicker rocking-chair.  
And an unopened letter from Barcelona signaled the end  
Of Aureliano's contact with the ex-Catalonian  
And Amaranta Úrsula went into labour Sunday night;

(Old Woman enters, slaps at Am, then holds up the Baby, pointing out the tail to Aur; she puts the Baby to the side as Am writhes around dying and Aur looks on worriedly. Then the Old Woman leaves, and Aur puts a sheet over dead Am)

Narrator (cont'd): The mistress of the imaginary whores was their malpracticing midwife.  
The baby, Aureliano, was born with the tail of a pig.  
Just as the ancient Úrsula has always predicted.  
But the old woman said it could be cut-off and its parents didn't care,  
For Amaranta Úrsula was bleeding to death in her birthing chair.  
She was impervious to all medicine that simply wasn't love,  
And died with a smile on her face and skin white as a dove.  
Aureliano was so distraught he left the baby in the basket,  
And covered Amaranta with a sheet – he couldn't afford a casket.  
He wandered around town but the pharmacy was gone.

((Am exits) Aur walks up to a Woman)

Woman: There's no Mercedes here, and there never was – you're wrong!

(Aur walks away from the Woman, looking around)

Aur: I can hear the accordion music of Francisco the Man  
And I can see the sky's orange disks of death again!  
I want to talk to Pilar! But she is dead and gone.  
At least this here bartender will ensure I'm not alone for long.

(Aur walks up to Bartender, who holds up his arm)

Bartender: I raised this arm against my mother, now it is crumpled and dead.

Aur: I raised my heart against my sister, now I'm out of my head.  
Friends are a bunch of bastards! How I miss them all so much!  
Let's drink and cry our pain away, the dawn does take out crutch.

(Bartender exits, Aur keels over; Nigromanta enters and tends to Aur)

Nigromanta: In a puddle of barf and tears! Why is this where I find you?  
Here's some broth and I'll erase your sex-depts. to me – it's the least I could do.

Aur: I forgot the child!

(Aur runs back to the birth site without Nigromanta)

Aur (cont'd): The basket it gone, but Amaranta Úrsula's still dead.  
Her corpse is a pile of stones, beneath the sheet stained red.  
Perhaps the midwife had returned, I think I'll rest a while.  
In this house of wreck and ruin, oh how could I ever smile…  
I see the child!

(Three Ants enter with the dead Baby held above their heads)

Ants: _The ants go marching three-by-three! Hurrah! Hurrah!  
The ants go marching three-by-three! Hurrah! Hurrah!  
The ants go marching three-by-three,  
Your dead baby's a meal for we,  
As the ants go marching down!_

(Ants exit)

Aur: Oh God!  
Oh – I understand! Melquíades' parchments! I understand!  
"The first of the line is tied to a tree and the last is being eaten by the ants."  
I'll board up the windows and lock all the doors.  
I'm lucid and I can't feel my sorrows no more.  
Melquíades' parchments are here intact amidst the destruction;  
They tell me the history about my family – of sorrow and seduction.  
But Melquíades wrote them as if they all happened at once,  
All of time is one moment – he's a real genius! A dunce!

(Winds enter, making blowing noises and slowly starting to move and spin faster)

Narrator: As Aureliano read about the past  
Warm winds filled with voices started to blast  
But Aureliano didn't notice nor care –  
He just read he _wasn't_ Petra Cotes's heir.  
And that Amaranta Úrsula wasn't his sister, but his aunt.  
And that the whole damn thing was the fault of a guy  
Named Sir Francis Drake, the pirate, and why?  
When he attacked Riohacha Úrsula's great-great-grand-mum  
Sat on a stove and thus burnt her bum.  
She had physical scars and mental ones too,  
So her husband packed up her and the children and then they all moved  
To an Indian village where he set up shop  
With Don José Buendía – that patriarchal fop!

Aur: Sir Francis Drake attacked Riohacha…  
So through labyrinths of our blood we could spring and say "gotcha"  
When Amaranta and I engendered the mythical creature  
That would end our line – in which incest is a feature.

Narrator: It was really crazy how all of that fit together.  
– Or maybe it didn't… You know what? Whatever!  
Macondo was a whirlwind of dust almost spent  
By the time Aureliano skipped ahead and to read the present.  
Reading about himself reading the scrolls.

Aur: Prophesizing my deciphering as time rolls and rolls.

Narrator: Skipping ahead again he found he would never leave the room  
Because the City of Mirrors would end really soon.  
As Aueliano _Babilonia_ would finish the parchments  
Macondo would be wiped from all memory; all events  
That happened in that mirage of a town  
Would amount to nothing as the world tuns around.

Aur: Everything written here is unrepeatable.  
Since, you know, time is immemorial,  
Because races condemned to _One Hundred Years of Solitude_ from birth  
Don't have a second chance here on the Earth!

(Aur and Winds duck down, the lights go off)

Narrator: **The End!**


End file.
